I Had Plans…

I had plans………Then God laughed

This morning I got a phone call from a social worker (for which I was very thankful) who is helping us with navigating the world of Medi-Cal, insurance, doctor bills, disability, etc. It was a very helpful call, with lots of good information, but I am still kind of in a whirl with all of the possibilities, some good and some not so good, and none of which can be decided today. We know our present insurance will end on December 31st so we have to do something, but we are not sure what that will be.

But we had plans. Really good and godly ones, I thought. Joyce and I would serve in the president’s role at PIU for the next few years and then we would retire to a life of teaching classes at PIU, missionary travel and spending time with our children and grandchildren. We had invested well and strategically in property, and though we’d never have a lot extra, we figured we would live fairly comfortably. I was pretty sure God had signed off on all this because I had prayed about it and we would be needed there.

Then came cancer. For a few months it looked like I would not survive through 2017. The outlook is much better now, but there is no guarantee for a long term future. Nobody has that guarantee by the way. We don’t know the next step financially. Should we go on disability? Will I be able to continue with the mission? How are we going to pay for medical care after this year? Which kind of insurance should we get if we don’t qualify for Medi-Cal – they all seem out of our reach financially. We have to make a decision soon, but we really don’t know what to do. Our plan is certainly not going how I thought it would.

Then God laughed. Not a laugh of scorn or derision. It is the loving laugh of a parent when he sees his sincere child trying hard, but he knows it’s not going to work the way child thinks. He laughs because he has a bigger perspective and a bigger plan that will meet that child’s needs. He knows that the child’s plan would not succeed by itself, but that he will step in, after the child has learned through the process, and work with the child to bring about a better end than the child has ever dreamed of.

I had plans………Then God laughed.