Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Poems Resulting From A Sleepless Night

Last night was the second after my first chemotherapy treatment. It was also my second day of taking a hundred milligrams of prednisone. The side effect for me was that I couldn't sleep at all and my mind’s engine was in 4th gear. I wrote theological papers and planned out projects in my head, but that wasn't helping me sleep. Then suddenly I got on to poetry. I started out trying to write serious poetry but that wasn't working out, so I thought some limericks would be more relaxing. I don't want anyone to be offended by limericks about bodily functions but edema and kidney issues can be quite humiliating and embarrassing. This is my reality right now. It would be a blessing to get the edema and kidney issues dealt with. Maybe having a little fun with this helps my mind deal with the bigger issues; like being separated from thirty plus years of a life that I really enjoyed and loved, fear of being useless, and oh yeah, fear of death. Besides I think the limericks are funny and make me feel better.

Left Kidney

Now whenever I need to pee,
I take a plastic urinal with me,
  A unit portable
  Makes others uncomfortable 
So I carry it where they cannot see.

Right Kidney

I pee through a hole in my back,
It drains through a tube to a sack,
  It's rather unsightly,
  Even though bound tightly 
So I keep it in a plain black pack.

And now the serious poems that help me deal with the central issue – T-cell Lymphoma – cancer. The temptation and the fear are not the reality. God’s promises are the reality.

Prednisone Thoughts

Lately I lie awake at night,
Prednisone: eyes wide,
Tempted to anger, feel fear's bite,
Jesus: right beside, 
Whatever! We've already won the fight.

Hebrew Antithetic Style Proverb 

  In the light "God is good" is easy,
but 
  In the darkness "God is good" is real.

And finally...

The Only Good Thing About Medical Leave

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I know my mind will whirl and leap,
If I can't sleep before I wake,
Another afternoon nap I'll take.

3 comments:

Anne Stinnette said...

Love them all and boy can we identify with them in this household. Lots of love to you and Joyce. We continue to pray daily and often many times a day.

K Ron Routh said...

My friend and brother. My heart aches for you.
I know the energy from prednisone at 3 am, and the emotional roller-coaster you are on, but your early am venturing into poetry is awesome!! Cryptic, but sublime. I love it, even if a little crass. It speaks from your heart!! Your frustration, your adventure into new territory. It is exquisite.
I share in your fear of the uncertainty, and side effects from the medicine (poison) you are given. The nausea, the weakness, the uncertainty of what's next. I pray that our Lord will give you strength and heal you from the outcomes of modern medicine. I ache with Joyce in heart with the turmoil you both share. Why Jesus takes us down this path I know not, but I am reassured all things work together to those who love him and follow him. You are so far from your element, though close to kin, I pray this will bless you in these months of treatment.
Please, continue to share your thoughts in this journey, it is food for my soul.
I love you both
Ron

Unknown said...

Dwight and Lola Jungkeit here...
Hi, Dave! Just read your "Poems Resulting From A Sleepless Night." Just want to thank you for being courageous enough to express your honest thoughts. And with a sense of humor yet! I'm sure there's not a lot of "humor" in what you're going through, but we know God has a sense of humor, and I'm sure he understands yours at this time. On the serious side, we are assuring you of our ongoing prayers for endurance.
P.S. Keep up the good work; you'll earn your "poetic license" with those limericks! :)